I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
