Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
