I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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