So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
