i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
