You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
