So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize