When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
