yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
