it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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