I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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