I look better un-naked...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize