Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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