ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
