Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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