i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
