Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
