tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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