I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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