wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
