I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
