I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize