Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
