I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We have started to decorate penises.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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