I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
