brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My vagina just recognized that song.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
