I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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