i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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