They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
