Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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