You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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