He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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