Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
