Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Need sex. Gaining weight.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
