today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
