I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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