Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
