the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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