I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
