Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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