Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
