Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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