i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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