I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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