Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
