Kiss
Puke
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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