Ambien. No doubt about it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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