I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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