You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
