What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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