What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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