is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
