He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
