I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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