Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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