I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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