And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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