What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
