dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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