Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
