I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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